I have this newly developed needle phobia. It first happened when I got my nose pierced and poor Daphne and Andrew and Irelande were with me. Since then the thought of any needle pushes me towards a panic attack. I know a majority of it is in my head but the very kind nurse who did my pre-op meeting last week assured me that because my blood pressure is so low I am very susceptible to fainting with the least bit of nervousness. So when I think of tomorrow I worry about my worry, IV's don't go in easily so I'm afraid of how I will react. I just need to be at the spot where they are putting me under. Any other surgeries I have had, I have just wanted to get to the "putting under" stage and then I knew I would be fine, I could handle the recovery. This time, hanging over my head is the big CANCER diagnosis. It's weird to be going into surgery awaiting the unknown. What will they find when they open me up? Will it be cancerous cells, will there be more masses than any of the tests have shown? These are the things going through my head. I just need it to be tomorrow.
Aaron's sister Marian (and my awesome sister in law) is here and will be travelling to London with us. His brother Andrew will meet us there tomorrow. They want to be with Aaron during the long wait while I'm in surgery. And to be there for both of us before hand. I'm so glad they suggested this. I'll go into surgery knowing that Aaron has support. Thanks to both of them. I know it'll be a long day for everyone but there was no hesitation on their part. Andrew made it very clear, we are family and we stick together, that's just what we do.
Off I go to have my bath and read until I can fall asleep. We have to leave at 4am for London. I wonder what my next blog entry will say??
4 comments:
Linda, you WILL be fine! A wise friend has a daughter who also struggles with being anxious. My wise friend tells her daughter 'you will be fine, go do something and distract yourself'. Perhaps my wise friend should follow her own advise.
We love you and will be here when you get home (like it or not)
Like I said to you before - "I think this really sucks, and I don't want you to have to go through this and would also like it if you had no pain whatsoever". Alright, now that we've figured out exactly what it is that I want, maybe we can concentrate on you now :)
Does anyone else wonder where they get those crazy word verification words from?
So great to hear the news. Our prayers have been answered. Now for a speedy recovery.
We just got the best news we've had in a very long time today. Whew!!!! I can't believe what a roller coaster ride you've been on.
We love you and we're coming to see you tomorrow...so watch out!
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